My mother had oil portraits done of my three older brothers, and instead of hanging them in birth order, she put the third (and favored) son in the middle. She told everyone not to tell me anything.When this oldest brother was getting married, he sent me and my husband a cold, short email informing that he was getting married. The causes of the favoritism, however, are a bit different once the children become adults. Incidentally, I do keep in contact with my younger siblings, who generally tell me everything that happens that my parents hide from me (my sister crashing cars or causing other problems that my parents sweep under the rug).I know exactly where use are comming from. It helps to know people out there understand and you aren't "crazy. Yeah, she's feeding off that stuff, but even if she weren't saying anything, but praises for you it doesn't mean it would be any different. She has the more "pleasant" disposition - resembling my mother in temperament - and, importantly, is married to a rich man who has promised to look after her forever, and both my parents in their golden years. Each child in a family needs to be loved and accepted for who he or she is. But even when parents vow to treat their children equally, they soon find that this is just not possible. now our daughter is 7 months and still experiences only small brief interactions with dad and watches as he plays and tosses and acts crazy with his son.
Nevertheless I am being entirely truthful when I say that I bear severe mental and emotional scars from having been viewed as being "less than" or "not as good as" my sister since my formative years.So, a word from the wise to all impending parents: it is quite clear that favouritism can have a long-lasting and terribly adverse impact on the family dynamic.
It hurts so deeply I don't know how to handle it except try and avoid them at this point.
I am the only one that has stood up to my mother and even walked out one Christmas night only to have her follow me out appologizing for her actions. She pulls the wool over my mother's eyes and her word is the gospel as far as mom is concerned. My mother has repeatedly told me that it's my fault and I should make an effort, but I don't see how I can do anything.I'm in my 30s now, there's no way anything repairs itself. I only engage for the sake of the kids, but really I still have an irrational hope for approval, which the rational side of me knows will never come. I have never gotten into trouble, never gotten into debt, have a good career, and work very hard, drink very little, don't gamble, etc.Anyway, now my mom is dying. The Role of Violated … “Be honest—I can take it.” In typical fashion, the boys never answered. I turned and said, "Yes you was, the vet said, because of her rash not to bathe her, you went to do it any way, that was being mean to her," That caused her not to have anything to defend her self with, than she started crying and went to the bed room. The oldest brother gets away with everything. Its there loss if they choose not to be!I m also facing the same problem but in my case my parents have 2daughter and I m the only son.i m the youngest among them.my elder sis is attached to my mother and middle sis is attached to my father.none of them ever cared about me especially my father who treat me like a Servent.he only talk to me only when he has some work for me.though I was also frustated but when I grew to 18 then I reallused that all these would remain as it is and I have to do something for my future without my parents support. And at various and regular intervals, I have told each of my three kids privately and conspiratorially “Don’t tell the others, but you’re my favorite.” My fondest wish is that they discover this at my funeral.As I wrote this, I texted my kids to ask if they felt that we had ever played favorites. I always got straight A's in school, never rebelled and always did what I was told. I do have severe mental and emotional scars, but mostly emotional.At times my mother has known absolutely nothing about me and even into my 50's I was and am on the receiving end of criticism, emotional and verbal abuse. He had been a happy, easy baby, very welcome after the preceding colicky brother, and the only one of the six of us whose infancy she really seemed to remember. Reading what you have written was as though I was reading my own personal story. They may not be the favorite, but to the siblings who aren’t getting as much time and attention, the resentment can be very real.Sometimes it’s as simple as shared interests.“A father who’s interested in sports will likely relate better to a child who’s also into sports, as opposed to a child who prefers the indoors and video games, for example,” Levin explained.“These dynamics can get very complicated,” she said.The problem is that a perception of being the least favorite child can take a definite hit on a kid’s self-esteem,“Something we need to be very aware of as parents is to not compare siblings,” she said.